What are you Called to Carry?

 

This is for the person whose “friendships” consist of constantly taking care of your friends. Sometimes you feel more like a counselor than a companion and wonder if this is just the nature of your friendships. You feel like having these thoughts makes you a bad friend.

This is for the “volunteer” that regularly ends up with the work that nobody else wants to do—including yourself. You feel like you HAVE to do things. Freedom and choice are merely concepts. “No” isn’t even in your vocabulary.

This is for those of us who actually get physically sick or depressed because we’re carrying so much of other people’s burdens on top of our own responsibilities. Cycles of burnout are familiar, and you’ve either learned or are learning to cope.

This is for those who live for someone else’s approval. The thought of displeasing a parent, friend, boss, or other close relationship is anxiety-inducing and dictates your behavior and life decisions. All seems well if that person affirms what you’re doing. This can sometimes be identified by diving deep into the question of, “Who is one person you’d never want to disappoint?”

This is for those who always feel behind. It seems impossible to catch up on important things because you’re always taking on something else. Starting something new happens easily, following through and finishing does not. You might also be late to everything.

This is for people who believe they’re primarily responsible for other’s problems. You feel like if you don’t hold things together for them, their world will fall apart. We usually feel this way towards those we love most. Frustratingly, your level of control doesn’t match your level of concern.

This is for people like the old me. And dealing with these things are the lessons I wish someone had taught me years ago when I started pursuing my calling.

Instead, I had to unlearn a lot of bad habits. If this post hits too close to home, you probably do too.

I’ll be drawing and writing more on this topic in the coming weeks. But I hope this small starting point motivates you to rest, reflect, and reprioritize. And for a more professional perspective, I recommend Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

Let me know what you think about the comic and article! Do you relate or know someone who does? Are there other important things that I left out? Hit me up in the comments section and let me know what you think.

6 thoughts on “What are you Called to Carry?

  • April 5, 2017 at 10:56 pm
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    This was a great post Brian! Boundaries are so crucial for healthy relationships. Have you seen this video from Brene Brown on Boundaries? https://youtu.be/mLTLH3ZK56M
    She is known for her research on Empathy. Anyways I was watching this interview earlier and reading your blog post reminded me of one of many of her important statements where she says… “I’m not as sweet as I used to be, but I am far more loving”. The video goes indepth about how boundaries are very important. Hope it helps!

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  • April 7, 2017 at 10:27 am
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    ^ I love Dr. Brown. She’s amazing. But comment on this comic, I’m glad you’re finding a healthy balance Brian. I personally value self-care and hold a lot of weight in it. It’s sometimes difficult however, to make that definition of self-care to be clear, versus making an excuse to not care for those around me which I believe we are all called to as Christians. And that definition will look differently for each person. Looking forward to the rest of the comics.

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  • June 9, 2017 at 8:58 am
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    I feel like today people don’t communicate in a personal level like they used to. I feel like there are multiple ways today that people can communicate with each other but it’s never on a personal level. Social media today feels like a telescope. There seems to be this gap when looking at people through social media. You can see the person but it’s looking at them from miles away. More likely than not it’s not looking at them as their real self but how they try to present themselves to other or how they want to be perceived. Me personally I feel this way as well. I feel like a lot of problems are hidden due to societal boundaries and how people want to be perceived.

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  • June 9, 2017 at 3:42 pm
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    I like how you talk about ” unlearn a lot of bad habits”. So many of us become so used to how things “are” that we don’t even consider a different way to approach stress and pressure. Thanks for sharing your insights!

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  • June 9, 2017 at 3:42 pm
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    I like how you talk about ” unlearn a lot of bad habits”. So many of us become so used to how things “are” that we don’t even consider a different way to approach stress and pressure. Thanks for sharing your insights!

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